Recent Additons to My Little Sister's Jokes

My Little Sister's Jokes > Recent Addition List

New jokes posted on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Happily maintained by the Community of Emmitsburg, MD.

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E-mail us at: humor@emmitsburg.net


	11/28 - Click here to read all the jokes posted on this date on one page
	Oops, didn't see that coming Ten Greatest Pick Up Line Comebacks It's Christmas time! Nasty things you can do at Wal-Mart Who said That? As I came out of the supermarket that sunny day... Do you know who is sitting in The Highest Position of the World?
	11/24
	Things That Sound Dirty at Thanksgiving, but Aren't... Only a Southern man can make you feel like a woman Political Correctness & The Horse Community A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend... Children learn from what they see... Canadian Police Chase
	11/21
	A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity... An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening... Music Appreciation The Best Golfisms Ever! New Alphabet Come to Australia Just a little bit closer ... closer ...
	11/19
	This collection of human body facts will leave you wondering... New Products For Tough Economic Times Signs That Your Horse Trials Is Getting Rained Out New Stock Market Terms How to Fix your Printer Guaranteed Fresh or your Money Back
	11/17
	A steeplechase jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse Only horse people... The She-Devil's Guide to Diving a Man Crazy A cowboy, who is visiting Wyoming from Texas... Single dumbest contestant to ever get on 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?' Best Ford Short Commercial Military Humor
	11/14
	A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience The convent had been presented with a new car, a red Mini Metro Signs That You Are Discriminated At Work Due To Your Age A woman is out looking for a pet, and so she's trying the local pet shops Digital TV Conversion Size does Matter!! Sometimes it's better to have a SMALL ONE!
	11/12
	A minister was delivering a sermon on sin A woman walks into a butcher's shop... A women offered to care for the eight-year-old daughter of a neighbour... Amazingly Simple Home Remedies A young man named John received a parrot as a gift After flipping his hydrofoil, Jesus quickly leaves the scene...
	11/10
	A contestant on 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?' had reached the final plateau Why engineers don't write recipe books Top 10 Signs Your Boss Is Spying On You What can ruin a restful evening How my little brother died That moment 'just' before the pain begins...
	11/7
	The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said... How to tell that your old incumbent shouldn't run for mayor again Over the past eight years Bush has provided us with endless amusement... Gabriel came to the Lord and said, "I have to talk to you." Starting in 1941, an increasing number of British airmen... Amazing Japanese Mall Fountain The Beer Prayer
	11/5
	Little Known Facts You Can Live Without Recent Quips from Late Night Wifely quotes take 2 Newspaper Headlines with Double Meanings How a poor choice for a best man can really ruin a wending Redneck Bumper Sticker
	11/3
	When I went to get my driver's license renewed... Three friars were behind on their belfry payments... Things you shouldn't do while driving... A Site for Resting in Peace A man had to be taken to hospital still attached to a steel toilet... For those who think golf looks easy Why I drink Pepsi
	10/27
	Aunt Bessie loved to visit her nieces and nephews Little Johnny came downstairs bellowing lustily. His mother asked, "What's the matter now?" Tidbits from someone who watches a bit too much TV A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask... How to tell if the company you were with for so many years is going broke Typical Male Driver
	10/24
	2008 Darwin Award Nominee Since we're in the middle of the presidential campaign... Some signs that the church choir you are going to direct is not so good On television today, one of Obama's handlers pointed out ... Mental Health Break Mass Migration of Stingrays
	10/22
	Why Hockey is the Best Fighting Sport Signs you spend too much time with your e-mail Just a line to say I'm living, That I'm not among the dead Recent Quips from Late Night There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas There was this guy who fell from an airplane and landed in a strange place Obama - Palin 'Dancing with the Stars' Tryout
	10/20
	Wifely quotes - collected over the years For Trade: One 16 year old who knows everything Air Gigantica Airlines Announces Fee Changes Answers to questions provided by kids A bachelor who lived at home with his mother and pet cat went on a trip to Europe Um ... that my I-pod Hangover Finalist...
	10/15
	A Day In The Life Of A Blond BMW Driver A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce... Recent Quips from late night Bother Your Banker At a recent software engineering management course in the US... Dogs and People If you hate your job, then think again...
	10/10
	Signs your Bank is On Shaky Grounds... A guy, out hunting in Alaska, accidentally shoots a polar bear 12 Step Recovery Program For Web Addicts Once upon a time, in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers... Little Tony was 9 years old and was staying with his grandmother for a few days Bad Timing ... Sarah Palin Debate Chart
	10/8
	There are the unavoidable laws of the natural universe... It's not all checking hunting and fishing licenses Recent Quips from late night Just want to thank all of you for your educational emails over the past year Air Travel Today Halloween Is Going to Scary this Year !!
	10/6
	After Quasimodo’s death, the bishop of the cathedral of Notre Dame... Notes About Wisconsin In kindergarten your idea of a good friend was... Prince Charles decided to take up jogging Trouble just seems to follow some people! video1, video 2, video 3, video 4 Being in the right place at the right time photos
	10/3
	The teacher says to her new class, "For our first lesson... Three guys are golfing with the club pro The Ferrari F1 team fired their entire pit crew yesterday How to tell if your new job is too far to travel to A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven If I go to prison, I want him as my cellmate The Treasury Department put out a new dollar bill this morning
	10/1
	After my wonderful vacation in Bali, I boarded my flight back to New York ... A mother is driving her little girl to her friend's house for a play date Recent Quips from Late Night A group of refugees from Somalia arrive in Australia... While suturing a cut on the hand of a Texas rancher... Toys R Us India Style Wedding Invitation ...
	9/29
	Jack was in front of me coming out of church one day... One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time A man starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks Visual DNA - Find out about yourself! Our Town Is So Small... What you miss in church when you stay home
	9/26
	How To Get Your Self Noticed At Your Class Reunion The irate customer calling the newspaper office... Recent Quips from Late Night A client called to report an accident and ask if her insurance rates would go up Why Dogs Are Better Than Kids Before it is too late! How to Tell If Mom Likes You Best
	9/24
	As the coals from our barbecue burned down... A social worker who recently transferred to the Mountains of North Georgia... The Birk Economic Recovery Plan An old prospector walks his tired old mule into a western town one day It's too good WW11 Tank Recovered from Lake
	9/22
	If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out How To Tell That Your New Business May Be Lacking Advertising Definitions Anyone who has pets will really like this Stunning Photography Something really amazing happened in Downtown Spokane...
	9/19
	A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation... Quotable Quotes If We Were Mares... Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street... The Conservative Palinguage Guide I was in my kayak, minding my own business China from the sky - Take 1
	9/17
	After going through Lamaze classes with his expectant wife... Recent Quips From Late Night Bread Facts ... She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still... Video is of dolphins playing with silver colored rings... One in a million shot ...Mother Nature's way of saying 'Have a nice day!'
	9/15
	During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer A father and son went fishing one day A man who had been in a mental home for some years finally seemed to have improved... An elderly gent was invited to an old friends' home for dinner one evening A little church in the suburbs suddenly stopped buying from its regular office supply dealer You've got a friend in me 2008 World Nuclear Submarine Racing Championships
	9/12
	When the store manager returned from lunch A Clown noticed that his dog had become lethargic, lazy, and fat New Office Policy Why there has been a fallout in Movie Attendance Clever Sport's Drink Commercial Australian Beer Truck Porn for Women
	9/10
	Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife A man goes to a psychologist and says, "Doc I got a real problem... Things You Never Hear In Church - take 2 Ed and Harriet met while on a cruise and Ed fell head over heals in love with her So there I was in my kayak, minding my own business Dog Cartoons
	9/8
	Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle... A Department of Water Resources representative stops at a Texas ranch... You Know You've Booked a Cheap Flight When... How to Know That You Are Getting Very Old Top Ten Most Amazing Pictures Taken by Hubble Space Telescope in Last 16 Years
	9/5
	For those who plan to visit our Nation's Capital! There was once a handyman who had a dog named Mace A Michigan woman and her family were vacationing in a small New England town... The priest was preparing a man for his long day's journey into night The Symphony Orchestra Is Not So Good—Why? The new guy on the block Solder showing his dog the Military Dog Memorial
	9/3
	As a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a 5-year-old boy... An Irishman found an old oil lamp and rubbed it. Out came a Genie... Pending Legislation AWNAA Act Recent Quips from Late Night Why you should never attack a pro baseball player on the field during a game... 911 Call, spell that please?
	8/29
	A fellow was getting ready to tee off by himself on the first hole... A young man finds the woman of his dreams and asks her to marry him Why You Would Want To Run A Gas Station Thoughts From a Wandering Mind Do you need a new message on your answering machine? High school Band Mishaps! Animal Photos to Make you Smile
	8/27
	As a stranger entered a little country store, he noticed a sign warning... The Lord Is My Shepherd How you can tell if your car dealer wants to unload that "lemon" on you... An old man and woman were married for years, even though they hated each other A young blonde woman was driving through the Florida Everglades while on vacation What airbags are for If Gas Prices Continue To Rise!!!
	8/22
	Two rednecks were looking at a Sears catalog and admiring the models A man charges into a bank wearing a ski mask and wielding a handgun Bill and Steve are discussing the possibility of love A duck hunter needed a new bird dog You Know You've Booked a Cheap Flight When? This is why you don't show off! Another Dream Shattered
	8/20
	While shopping two nuns happened to pass by the beer store... You Know That You Better Retire When... Reasons To Like Beer by 7 Year Olds Recent Quips form Late Night A family of skunks was trapped in a thicket... I Have to Pass a Urine Test for My Job... So I Agree 100% Doggy Lullaby Best Moocher Signs
	8/18
	You've heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada... An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily... Something to think about: "How To Save the Government $5 Million!" You Know it's July in Florida When Never Tick off a Nurse NASA photos proving there is water on Mars
	8/15
	When the graveside service had no more than terminated... My Aunt passed away this past January More from the Irish Medical Dictionary Recent Quips form Late Night Simple Questions, Complicated Answers Politicians Can Be Fun See what happens if you sleep around...
	8/13
	One day when Bubba and Billy Bob were in the Little Rock Wal-Mart... Some Signs that your neighbor is over patriotic I was talking to a friend of mine's little girl the other day Johnny was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School Recent Quips from Late Night Contenders for the 2008 Darwin Awards! Video 1, Video 2, Video 3 You have a twelve pound son...
	8/11
	A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement... Sensible Observations Three mischievous old Grandmas were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home... Announcing the new Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge device... Rules for driving For Cat Lovers So How's your day going?
	8/8
	A redneck wanted to learn how to sky dive The following are new Windows messages that were under consideration for Windows Vista Horsemen Stereotypes Recently I was asked to play in a golf outing Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic Hunters/gatherers Redneck Carrier Landing Some interesting facts about F1 Race Cars...
	8/4
	Three Blondes were all applying for a position on the Highway Patrol I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests... Two social workers were walking through a rough part of the city one evening How to tell if the restaurant is not first rate Declaration of Independence Reply Excellent robberies Car cell phones
	8/1
	A few years ago the battery in my beat-up VW Beetle... 2008 Stella Awards A friend of mine, who worked away from home all week... Memory is a funny thing. It's a great example of 'use it or lose it'... A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery When the wife doesn't listen 2008 Best Construction Awards
	7/30
	One day, Adam sat outside the Garden of Eden shortly after eating the apple... Hillbilly Medical Terms A West Virginia farmer got in his pickup and drove to a neighboring farm ... Yo momma's so fat ... Dear Tide... If this does not make you jump, nothing will! This is what a bad day looks like
	7/28
	A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice... George W. Bush, Vladimir Putin, and Bill Gates were called in by God Yo momma's so stupid ... A customer at a Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and intelligence Wish I could think so quickly A census taker in a rural area went up to a farmhouse and knocked I have metal fillings in my teeth ...
	7/25
	The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man... Universal Truths Tryouts for Parents of 10 year old Soccer Players A Rider's Prayer Four Good Commercials "Does anyone need to use the bathroom while we are here?"
	7/23
	A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion... Comments overhead at a retirement community... Reasons To Like Beer by 7 Year Olds The huge college freshman decided to try out for the football team In a class on abnormal psychology Another great Budweiser commercial Pardon me... but do you have any food?
	7/21
	Glorious insults from an era when cleverness with words was still valued... Alaska Fishing A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him with a frying pan Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya A lawyer was on his deathbed in his bedroom, and he called to his wife Excellent Photographs Engineering Questions of the Day...
	7/18
	Arthur is 90 years old. He's played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago Irish outlook on election An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess... A little, nondescript guy is at a bar, just staring at his drink Well, I didn't know a ballgirl could do that! Imagine who would have such taste and live in such opulence?
	7/16
	Bizarre Travel Insurance Claims Once upon a time, there was a cat that died. When she got to heaven... After the sermon was over, one member of the congregation had lingered... Yankee or Dixie? A Golfer came home after a game with both of his front pockets full of golf balls ... Cool weather pictures!
	7/14
	How did it happen?" the doctor asked the middle-aged farmer as he set the man's broken leg At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold A small zoo in Kentucky obtained a very rare species of gorilla The Right Retired Job Ok, who hasn't know a cat like this?
	7/11
	Years ago, there was an old tale in the Marine Corps about a lieutenant... An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel... Geezer Golf Barack Obama, the lead Presidential Democratic Party candidate... A guy in a bar was talking about how he always watched his wedding video backwards A man has a heart attack and is brought to the hospital ER Chronological Map of WWII
	7/9
	Two blonde sisters had promised their Uncle... The Truth is at hand. Words of greater wisdom here You Might Be a Nurse If... Recent Quips from Late Night Employee safety around the world I'm getting so old that ...
	7/7
	A local business was looking for office help A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon An 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting A man went to the cinema. As he sat down to watch the film... An armless man walked into a bar that is empty except for the bartender Survival - Knowing when not to pick a fight
	7/2
	An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness... Helicopter pilot lessons learned during Vietnam but still true today Children write about the sea... Recent Quips from Late Night Gas Cartoons
	6/27
	A News photographer called the local airport to charter a flight Things You Never Hear in Church A bus load of Irish tourists arrives at Runnymede Some signs warning you that your television show is going off the air A farmer had five female pigs. He decided to take them to the county fair and sell them A researcher arrives in Borneo to gather data for his thesis Wow ... this is some pilot! This accident happened 8 years ago this past March
	6/25
	Does the statement, 'We've always done it that way' ring any bells? How you can tell if your mutual fund adviser might be a crook Recent Quips From Late Night Only in Florida... Good thing the creator of the artwork doesn't have a gun My four-year old grandson is learning to read
	6/23
	You would think by now that every even modestly interesting fact about World War II... A woman answered her front door and found two little boys standing there holding a list There's a big conference of beer producers An explorer in the deepest Amazon... The Wisdom of Hot Chocolate Hurricane/Flooding Survival Kit
	6/20
	Two police officers saw an old woman staggering down the street... Proverbial Truths... True Floridians Know... Recent Quips from late night I wish I had said that ... Achievement ...Almost as good as a Bud Commercial
	6/16
	An Irish priest is transferred to Texas... Things a male must remember over the course of his life Five Good Riddles... A doctor says to his patient, "I have bad news and worse news." Great Power Point slideshow of lighting Obama's Swearing in ...
	6/9
	Totally useless facts to bore your friends with... Strange Animal Laws It's Time to Get a New Lawyer When ... Luigi (father): 'I want you to marry a girl of my choice.' Human Resources is monitoring your computer What's a hungry catfish to do for chow--now?
	6/6
	There's a man trying to cross the street Recent Quips from Late Night - Take 73 Two English were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store Gentle thoughts for today... Reverend Boudreaux was the part-time pastor of the local Cajun Baptist Church There is a reason why some things are done outdoors Woman swallowed whole by leopard
	6/4
	Two Aboriginal lads are riding along the Great Eastern Highway on a motorbike I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Eric, the 11 year old next door... You know to change your vending service company when I went grocery shopping recently... A preacher was making his rounds on a bicycle... Talking Photo Booth With all the data coming back from Mars...
	6/2
	List of answers from test papers submitted to science teachers... Most unusual experience interviewing prospective employees ... A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia How To Tell That your retail giant is going out of business A wise old farmer went to town to buy a pickup truck A collection of men's thoughts on their wives ....
	5/30
	How To Get Yourself Noticed In A Restaurant Three Women were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large raging, violent river An elderly man in North Carolina had owned a large farm for several years A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door A "heads up" for those men who may be regular Home Depot customers Waterbed Showroom ... way to funny not to watch! Migrating Hummingbirds
	5/28
	Signs That You Didn’t Hire a Good Nanny A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer... Recent Quips from Late Night - Take 72 One lovely morning, Ben and Thomas were out golfing... The Monday Afternoon Club, an organization of wealthy city women... Tough getting up Job Opening - $200 per Hour Tax Free!
	5/26
	A man walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a drink How To Tell if your favorite congressman is crooked... I was in the VIP lounge last week en route to Seattle Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their fathers are Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork Sign of the times
	5/23
	Do you have a bad boss? Here's how to tell... To celebrate their 50th anniversary, a husband booked a round of golf for his wife... A man was reading the paper when an ad caught his eye: $500 Porsche! New! A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home Recent Quips from Late Night - Take 71 Place foot here... Best Nature Photo Awards by National Geographic - Take 2
	5/19
	A plane is on its way to Houston when a blonde in economy class gets up... Tips for a Better Life Signs that your company is going to be like Enron You live in the Deep South when... Cannibal One Liners A good laugh at our oh-so-dignified kooky kitties! Best Nature Photo Awards by National Geographic - Take 1
	5/16
	How to tell if your favorite grocery store is going to be shut down soon Glossary of Horse Terms We are concerned about your internet addiction You know you're a redneck when... If you think training a dog to walk without a leash is hard You want me to do what?? The look on this dog's face is priceless...
	5/14
	A sloth named Herman is walking through the forest one day Today’s youth are getting the opportunity to vote in their very first national election Recent Quips from Late Night - Take 70 Molly... the heroic pony
	5/12
	A teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body A one-dollar bill met a 20 dollar bill and said... How to tell if your local gas station is crooked The IRS decides to audit Roger, and summons him to the IRS office A ex-wife spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases What a ship....
	5/9
	A man went to the cinema. As he sat down to watch the film and his eyes... I was walking past the mental hospital the other day... Job Hunter’s Blues